I’m completely confused with what I want. I’m over thinking, thinking being single is what I need to be. Thinking that I’m not good enough because even after three and a half years I still don’t make you happy and I never will.
I’ve probably gained more feelings in the last year for you, that you haven’t gained for me. All I want is for somebody to love me like I love them, is that too much to ask for? Apparently it is. I ask myself all these questions every day and then I feel stupid and confused. How can you love somebody who treats you the way he does? How could you say he’s your everything, when you’re not his? I’ll always believe I’m not pretty enough, smart enough, or strong enough to be in a relationship with you. You want somebody who is the total opposite of me.
Sometimes I wish you’d sit back and think about the actions you make, think about how I’m acting and realize I’m hurt, but we all know you won’t because you’re selfish and you don’t care how I’m feeling. It sucks being in love with somebody who doesn’t give a shit about you.
I like being alone, but I hate the feeling of being lonely.
When you’re alone, you have time for yourself. Your thoughts finally catch up to you. You set your mind on things and everything is just clearer. Nothing’s bothering you and everything just feels right for once.
When you feel lonely, you feel as if no one’s there for you. It feels like no one understands you or is willing to listen. It feels like you’re screaming in a crowded room, but yet not one person looks up.
I’m constantly torn between the ‘be kind to everyone’ and the ‘fuck everyone you owe them nothing’ mentalities